I feel myself slipping again. I have been so happy but I knew it couldn't last long. I think my trigger this time is Freddy and my pain. This constant pain from SPD is draining. I can't seem to get any relief from it. I really don't see going 7 more weeks with this and then I think the only way to ensure that it isn't a full 7 weeks is to have a c-section and I DON'T want that if I don't absolutely have to. Horrible spiral it is.
Freddy is a great husband and father. Don't get me wrong. I feel that when I try to talk to him about things, anything, he just isn't interested. Like I bother him. He would rather be dealing with his jewelry and stones. For instance, I was trying to ask him about something today and he gets on the phone during this to find out the cost of silver. Really? You couldn't say "hold on a sec I need to find this out" or just wait a damn minute and then call? He is always texting someone else and never putting a full moment in for me. I am beginning to feel extremely lonely. I know that calls are important but can't I get some full attention some time? It is like this from the moment he wakes up around 7 am to the time he goes to bed around 11pm.
I don't want to be needy but I seriously need him right now.
I am also very overwhelmed. When can I just say no to people? I think I want to just go and cry right now. I hope this doesn't stick as long as the last wave did.